I’m too old to believe in Santa Claus, but I’m also practically-minded enough that I’ll try just about anything if I’m desperate.
So in the spirit of The Secret, or the Law of Attraction, or even “If you build it, he will come”, I’ve put together this handy-dandy Advance Christmas Wish List for myself that the Universe can peruse at its leisure. Please note that every item has been carefully chosen to help me build, and solidify, my art practice.
- More time during the day to get more work done. Failing that, an extra 10 months or so of winter would be an acceptable substitute as long as I can get more paintings out the door before my daughter finishes the school year and I have to spend the subsequent 9 weeks keeping her entertained until the beginning of the next school year. I understand that this might not be agreeable to everyone, but if they are so inclined, they can write their own wish lists.
- Have all of my current favourite television programs turn to complete crap for an indefinite amount of time so that I am no longer driven to distraction by the latest episode of Game of Thrones, etc. and my “fave, problematic ships” and “otps” contained therein.
- In order to avoid discovering NEW ships to fangirl over, do NOT let me see any movies for the next few years. (No, I am STILL not over Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and NO, I still haven’t forgiven you)
- A way to remove my fears and doubts about my art (and my life!) from the sewage treatment center of my brain and convert them into something slightly less odious, such as scented bath crystals, or flavoured marshmallows. (Think about it, Universe! We could make a real killing, you and me…!)
- Have a whole wack of young, cool, pretty women suddenly become my friend and be like “Oh yeah, sure, I’ll TOTALLY pose for your next painting. Thank you for asking me!”. If that’s too creepy (and yes, it sounds awfully creepy), then please forward me the money to pay said young, cool, pretty women to pose for me. I would use myself as a model, but alas, I am no longer young, and while I used to be pretty, I have never, ever been cool…
- Ditto for makeup artists, hairstylists, and vintage clothing collectors.
- Disabuse me of the notion that I can make do with less. If the work I want to create requires x, y, and z, then by golly, grant me the hutzpah to go out there and get it (or at least start asking around for help…very nicely).
That about sums it up, Universe. I await your Order Confirmation e-mail with baited breath.